Okay some more thoughts on how to fix the time travel plot for Guardian!
1) We know that no matter how much time has passed, it isn’t an indication of how fast time is moving in the time they came from, so they could have taken a month or two to get back, it would’ve been fine. For the purposes of fucking Shen Wei up so hard he pines for 10K years (even if most of it is in nap form), let’s give them 6 months. So that’s six months to build a relationship
2) I have no clue how the show would have done it platonically, but Shen Wei and Yunlan would have to build a romance. That’s literally the only type of relationship that would justify that acting from Zhou Yilong, and he fucking knows it. We can even keep that Yunlan and Shen Wei weren’t even a couple yet when Yunlan entered the time portal, they were just going around calling each other “good friends” and practically living together, cuz let’s say Yunlan is an idiot or in denial or what have you. But either way, Yunlan is unaware they were lovers in the past
2a) This works great cuz it’s Yunlan, and to him Shen Wei has always been intensely interested in him, so he doesn’t really notice that his flirting is making Shen Wei fall head over heels for this stranger who knows all the right things to say to knock him off his equilibrium
2b) Because of that, he’s surprised when Shen Wei blushingly confesses to him, or says something like “I know what you want from me, and I want it too, but humans and mutants can never be together. I must turn you down” and Yunlan just has this moment of “huh, I guess to anyone that isn’t a pining, celibate immortal with too many emotional walls up, I look in love”, which triggers the next moment of “oh shit he’s in love with me”, which spawns “oh shit I’m in love with him”
2c) Yunlan struggles for a bit, not wanting to “take advantage” of his younger (I’m assuming in his early 20s; Shen Wei needed the time to get through undergrad, graduate, and post doc, as well as develop that slick sense of style after waking up practically the same age 10K years later) “good friend”, but fuck is he cute. Reminds him of when he met Shen Wei at the university, but with less heartbreak weighing him down, and maybe he slips up and lets his hand linger over Shen Wei’s when they both reach for the same thing, or gazes at him a little too softly while they’re discussing battle tactics with 5 other generals, and gods, he misses Shen Wei so much, his Shen Wei, the one who has already waited, and Yunlan wants nothing more than to return to him and end the wait
2d) when the time comes, before they open the portal, Yunlan sees the devastation on Shen Wei’s face. He had no clue Yunlan would be leaving after this. Yunlan can’t help himself, knows he’s dooming this man to 10K years of yearning, but he can’t stand that look, and he kisses him. Shen Wei kisses back and it’s sloppy and inexperienced and errs on the side of desperate, but Yunlan pours all the “sorrys” he possibly can into it, sorry for doing this to you, sorry for wanting the later you, sorry for never realizing, sorry for what’s to come
3) give Yunlan a “tragic” ending for younger!Shen Wei to witness. the terrible emotions behind that “this is the life I’m returning to you” delivery by Yilong just falls flat if it’s for his comrades and people he’s heard Kun Lun has saved. It speaks of a tragedy Shen Wei has been living with the trauma of for centuries (er, decades, if we go with that nap they said he took). Yunlan would have been sucked into a portal, sure, but what they gave us wasn’t traumatizing enough for Shen Wei to be so protective of him that he doesn’t want him leaving the city or facing mutants without him there to back him up. That protectiveness isn’t just cute; it’s obsessive. It has to come from that trauma, a trauma regarding some tragic fate that had to do with Yunlan being helpless to defend himself in some situation
4) Shen Wei can’t be “waiting”. It would be so much better if he had no idea Yunlan was going to show up later. Maybe he’s hoping for a reincarnation, or he’s hoping that once he dies, he can join Yunlan in the afterlife, but Shen Wei is just doing his job, enjoying the surface now that he’s awake because the light reminds him of his time with Kun Lun, and then he sees Yunlan at the university and time. Stops. His heart nearly follows suit. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling or if he’s even feeling anything, just that the love of his life is for some reason living and breathing right before his eyes. And he doesn’t seem to recognize him at all. But that chemistry still remains
5) This would have a subplot of Shen Wei trying to figure out what exactly happened and whether it was reincarnation or something else, maybe suddenly remember that Kun Lun had been wearing some strange clothing the first time they met, he’d just forgotten in his grief over the years. Tiny details don’t stick around for long
6) Also, in those first few episodes, Yunlan follows Shen Wei around because of suspicion, but Shen Wei also reveals he knows a lot about Dixing to Yunlan in the first episode, which would make more sense if Shen Wei needs to get close to Yunlan in order to understand what he was doing 10K years in the past, so that’s why he’s investigating him and also investigating what the fuck happened 10K years ago
7) Also also, the moment they got back to the present from the time dimension they were in, Yunlan would kiss Shen Wei immediately, right in front of Da Qing, and this time it would be experienced and right and make all the sense in the world, and it would take Shen Wei everything to not crumble under the weight of his elation
7a) “I’m so sorry,” Yunlan would say against his mouth, moving him back into the edge of a gurney, “so so sorry I put you through this, made you wait so long,” and Shen Wei would respond with tears in his eyes that he’d do it a thousand times over if it meant sharing this just one more time
7b) “guys” Da Qing says weakly from the background
When Kunlun met Zeus, Zeus was in mood to talk, as usual.
“So then I saw this pretty little boy toy and I was like, I say! Mate! I have to get this little piece of arse or swallow the Styx trying!” boasted Zeus in his typically exuberant tones, while Kunlun politely sipped his tea and nodded his head to indicate that he’s listening.
Unfortunately.
“So I swooped down majestically from Olympus, and I turned myself into a golden-clawed eagle just for him. Can you imagine the divine favour?”
Kunlun, unfortunately, could. Deep in his heart, he cringed.
“And I walk up to him, all tall, dark and handsome, and caw at him in a manner that is clearly appreciative. And you know what he did? The little ingrate.”
Kunlun would rather not know, but felt he could make an educated guess.
Unfortunately.
“He jumped off a fucking cliff! There was a cliff in there, didn’t I say so before? So anyway, there was the cliff and that little shit just jumped off like there is no tomorrow. Instantly dead of course. So you see? See? How people can’t properly cherish good things in life anymore? We should just send a gigantic flood and be done with it, and start over, I’m telling you.”
Unfortunately you are, thought Kunlun, his face beautiful and immovable like white jade.
“Have you considered assuming a less threatening appearance?” he tried.
“Dude, really. Remember that Europa girl? I turned into this cute white bull for her and yet? She still wouldn’t put out. I’m telling you, mate, nice guys finish last.”
Deep in his heart, Kunlun regretted the Creation.
“Or that other time, I turned into golden rain, very classy, totally posh. Girls love those shiny things, eh? That Danaë chit actually dared to toddle off before the blood on the sheets dried out. So ungrateful.”
For a moment, Kunlun imagined a sea of blood covering Mount Olympus. It was a very gratifying sight.
“So what I’m trying to tell you, mate, is don’t just waffle around. Fuck that little demon boy already. I mean, you know he isn’t getting any younger, right? What are you waiting for? Want him to grow horns or something and get all wrinkly and shit? I’m telling you from experience, like one god to another: this isn’t worth it in the end!”
Deep in the mountains, there was a major earthquake.
“Thank you for you generous advice,” said Kunlun.
It was precisely at this moment that Little Ghost King chose to come back with one of his courting gifts. Blood splattered on the pristine stone mosaic, and a wounded three-headed hyaena gurgled its last breath.
“Whoa, mate! It’s some fucking kinky shit you got here, eh? Fucking kinky! But I’m not judging, man, never judging. A god has his needs, right? Right?”
Far away, an avalanche razed eighty one mountain valleys.
***
Inspired by c-novels discord. My canon for Zeus is like rich dudebro nice guy lol
Danaë, Europa and Ganymede are real myth, except none of them got to run away successfully (*)
“If you call me that again I will strangle you and feed your entrails to the village pigs when I finally break free from this barbaric eco-friendly prison,” said the beauty, Ye Zun. “But I am pretty, aren’t I?” “The prettiest.” Zhao Yunlan nodded solemnly. “And yet you didn’t visit me for how long exactly? Was it a year? A hundred years? An ice age?” “Two months,” admitted Zhao Yunlan. “But look, I brought you presents.” “Ah, tribute,” sighed Ye Zun happily. “You may kneel.” “There’s is Apulian wine, imported mead, raw beef and my mother’s baozi. I didn’t know what you like.” “You think my righteous indignation can be appeased with a few dishes of indubitably mediocre human cuisine?” “I will be sure to pass on your regards to my mother.”
Ye Zun hesitated. “What are you waiting for, then? I want my gifts. And do open the wine. I don’t have a corkscrew in here.”
Zhao Yunlan pushed a wicker basket towards the hollow of the tree. He had experimented with Ye Zun, and although he couldn’t pass through the cold blue flames of the barrier spell himself, apparently there was nothing that prevented him from pushing inanimate objects to the other side.
When Ye Zun was done eating the baozi and sipping his mead, and started eyeing the raw meat covetously, Zhao Yunlan finally felt safe enough to think of a few neutral topics of conversation. “I was on a quest, you know,” he said. “I couldn’t visit you because I was busy saving innocent maidens.” Ye Zun snorted. “I bet they didn’t stay innocent for long.” “I wouldn’t know,” admitted Zhao Yunlan. “I was rather busy running away when I realised they’d had very little interest in being saved. They enjoyed living in the moors, they said. The oldest almost ate me. She actually got my horse” “Running away? How dishonourable, sir knight.” “We reached a mutually profitable arrangement,” anwered Zhao Yunlan modestly. “Who would have thought. You wouldn’t like my brother at all.”
After ridding of his slippers, Shen Wei sits on the mattress and places Yunlan on the sheets, rubbing him down one more time with the towel he’s cocooned in. Once done, he dresses him in his galaxy- patterned onesie, trying not to think too much of the strangeness of their situation
He’s lived for more than 10,000 years. He’s loved and lost and loved and lost and loved Yunlan again. He hasn’t lost him now, won’t lose him again either. This is just a momentary setback.
Finished with Yunlan’s onesie, Shen Wei pats his bottom approvingly and dresses for bed next.
Bright fluorescent lights turn off as the lamp shade by the nightstand flickers on and bathes the bedroom in a warm, soft glow. He picks Yunlan up and climbs in, a pleased groan rumbling in his throat as he sinks into the welcoming softness of their marital bed, long legs stretched out and leaning against a stack of pillows. Yunlan slides down his front until he’s propped half on his shoulder, half on his chest. He kisses Yunlan’s forehead, fingers raking through silky hair, closes his eyes and hums.
Aaaaaaah yes new chapter!!!!!!! Yay waifu!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
镇魂 GUARDIAN AU: DETECTIVE ZHAO YUNLAN + DOCTOR SHEN WEI
Detective Zhao Yunlan isn’t a stranger to the dark underbelly of Dragon City, nor the stench of greed and corruption that reaches high places. Armed with a gun and his own code of ethics, the determined detective tackles all manners of unholiness while trying to give hope to citizens who believe there’s no saving Dragon City.
Luckily, he has help: Shen Wei, Dragon City Hospital’s mysterious doctor, whose medical expertise and sharp intellect proves invaluable in solving gruesome murders. As the two form a friendship that extends beyond solving cases, Yunlan lands a high profile assignment forcing him to choose between his duty to the public, and his growing feelings for Shen Wei.
So I know I said I wasn’t going to do this again, but…
blame whatever is keeping me up at night.
Thank you to weilongfu and fkyb for agreeing to beta it for me.
A GuoxChu WIP teaser, taking place in the early part of ep 34.
“Guo Chang Cheng, wake up.” Chu Shu Zhi gently but firmly shook him, needing him to be conscious enough to hear what he had to say. “I have to leave with Lao Zhao and Da Qing. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
The young man on the table didn’t stir. Xiao Guo was exhausted, everything that had happened to him in the past 24 hours was enough to sink him back asleep after their last conversation.
“Babe, wake up.” The endearment slipped unnoticed from Chu Ge’s lips as he again shook Chang Cheng, making one last attempt to bring him back to awareness.
Eyes slowly opening like a sleepy kitten, Xiao Guo let out a soft “Mmmmm?”
“Hey,” a soft expression painted Shu Zhi’s face. “I have to go with Lao Zhao and Da Qing, I’ll come back as soon as I can. I’ll take you home, so don’t leave without me. I promise I’ll come back for you. Okay?”
“Okay.” He caught the hand closest to his. “Thank you.”
The Last Good Bar 
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