Tag: wow!

weilongfu:

andwebegin:

— there’s blood on my hands, baby

@andwebegin

There was something people said in English that Tin had heard before in his youth. That before you can love someone, you must love yourself.

Back when Tin believed this, it was easy. The folly of youth and an abundance of self confidence and assurance in his family had made loving himself no question. 

And then Tul’s treachery had come to the surface.

And a loathing and a fear and a coldness had swept through Tin like a plague. They loomed over Tin, unforgiving and unforgettable. A barrier to anyone who dared get closer. 

Tin would never stop hating himself for being so easily fooled. And Tin was sure he would never love again, so blinded by his own self hatred. So disgusted by the nature of people.

Years and years later, when Tin met Can. When Tin learned to let Can in and see just how broken he was, he was surprised how easy it was to love Can.

It was so easy it was more frightening than anything Tul might do to continue to ruin Tin’s life.

But there was so much to Can, so many ways that he ingrained himself into Tin’s life, that Tin was left reeling in his wake. A burst of light in the darkness. Music in the empty and silent air. Oxygen in deprived lungs. 

Even in Tin’s most self-loathing moments, the thought of Can, just a text away, brought Tin the momentum to keep going until he left the worrisome thoughts behind.  It was easy for Tin to lose sight of his problems when he was lost in the surge of feelings so strong he might burst.

It wasn’t until Tin found another quote by a poet, Christopher Poindexter, that he realized just what Can had done for him. 

“I loved her not for the way she danced with my angels, but for the way the sound of her name could silence my demons.” 

Can had certainly done that. And Tin would love him forever for it.