yumi-chan-hamano:

Part 1 (idk what to call it right now lol)

Dreams were a blessing and a curse to Shen Wei.

Some days he would dream of soft kisses, strong arms wrapped around his waist and he could feel the warmth from the other person.

One moment he would feel safe and loved, the next moment Shen Wei wakes up to an empty bed and a heavy heart. He had never been so intimate with his previous partners, and none of them were able provide to provide that warm feeling that blooms at the core of his being during these dreams.

Shen Wei had always felt like something was missing in his life and he used to think it was because of how busy his parents were, not seeing them more than 3 times a year.

But in the recent years, he found that his parents weren’t the reason for the void in his heart.

He grew up being praised by both his parents, how good he was doing academically and how he would be the future heir to his father’s corporation.

It used to be a reason why he strived for his best, yet it didn’t feel right. None of it felt right, even when his own twin looked up at him as his idol. He was nothing like the son his parents admired, Ye Zun was the only one he could talk to about his dreams. He was in middle school.

Growing older meant being wiser, but it also meant realizing the darker truth.

Most of his partners liked him for a pretty face, nothing in their relationship was real. Nothing comparable to how loved and happy he was in his dreams.

Had his parents cared more about him, they would have gotten him a diagnose and on medication for his odd behaviours. It was Ye Zun who noticed that in high school, Shen Wei became more withdrawn, ate less, and sleep more.

Nothing in his life meant anything to him and indulged himself in his dreams where there was someone to make him happy and loved.

yumi-chan-hamano:

Part 2 (still don’t know what to call this lol)

(I would link part one but I’m incompetent when it comes to mobile anything, I’ll link it if I remember to do it when I get home)

(Also there’s probably 2/3 more parts before I’m finish with this idea)

Life become harder when he was in high school. Although it became harder to place first among in his grade, he was still a high ranking student. His parents wanted him to outrank his peers, but still proud of his accomplishments nevertheless.

But he could feel his life starting to tear at the seams when his teachers asked about his plan after high school.

He was always told that he would be the one to take over his father’s company, thus it was the answer he gave. But his second year homeroom teacher saw through his façade.

She asked him about his dreams and aspirations, which Shen Wei provided his usual answer: to take over his father’s company. He thought it would be enough, it had always been enough, but she didn’t think so. Shen Wei was at first annoyed by her pestering, but he soon realized why he was unhappy.

He always lived up to everyone else’s expectations: the perfect son, brother, student. But that was no who Shen Wei was.

But even he didn’t know who he was. Everything he did was to appease others, to be liked.

It was on his 17th birthday that he told Ye Zun everything he had bottled up. All the expectations forced upon him, the hardship of keeping up the act, the loneliness facing this by himself, and the dreams he indulged himself into.

It was the first time Shen Wei had cried in front of his brother, wanting to appear strong for the younger twin.

After Shen Wei broke down, spilling out his heart, Ye Zun said in the softest voice that he was glad to have his brother back. Though Shen Wei thought he was protecting his twin, in reality, he was pushing him away; he was pushing everyone away.

On the night of their 17th birthday, Shen Wei and Ye Zun celebrated by themselves, sending their workers home early as they attempted to make their own birthday cake.

Their parents had ordered a beautiful and delicious cake to be delivered in their birthday as they were both overseas for work, just as it always been for the past years. But there was something special about the slightly overcooked, burned bottom cake that they coated thickly in homemade frosting. It didn’t taste the best, but they both shared a laugh at how terrible their first attempt to bake was.

yumi-chan-hamano:

Part 1 | Part 2

As if their roles were reversed, Ye Zun rose to the top of
their grade while Shen Wei maintained a high average, no longer aiming to score
within the top ranks.

Shen Wei thought it was an impressive feat but Ye Zun had
always been naturally intelligent. He thought his brother wanted to be the best
and take over their father’s company, so he would happy live in his brother’s
shadow.

Ye Zun never cared about what their parents had thought of
him since he always felt his parents were inadequate. But his views about his
parents were not completely a lie when their attention was suddenly turned to
him when he took first place in their grade and was elected student council
president in third year.

In fact, he hated the fact that his brother was so easily
over looked by the very people that came to love him conditionally, but only
after he earned that spot in their hearts.

Their parents’ love was a finicky thing. He has their love
and affection as long as he act as the perfect child, the role his brother
played before. He only needed to keep up the act at least long enough to secure
his place in his father’s company to help support Shen Wei in any way he can.

They’ve tried different methods to help Shen Wei deal with
his dreams.

The most successful way seemed to be art. Ye Zun noticed the
way Shen Wei described his dreams, such beautiful details and excruciating
details.

But he didn’t understand the true depth of Shen Wei’s dreams
until he spent the Christmas break drawing the different scenes that were
playing in his head. But yet in all of them, the same face keeps appearing.

No matter how much they tried, they were unable to find the
man that keeps appearing in Shen Wei’s dreams.